“Well lookey here, young’uns. This video here is called the XXXMas Anal Bonanza, and from the sounds of it, it’s a doozy. There’s gonna be ten different models getting anal…and not just any ol’ kind of anal. Oh no. We’re talkin’ deep-throatin’ and squirtin’ and ass-lickin’ and cum-swallowin’. My oh my! And there’s gonna be some big butts in there too, from those curvy Latinas from Brazil, Colombia, and even Italy. And guess what? They’re gettin’ themselves some double penetration–whatever that means! And there’s lots of costumes too–I guess that’s why they call it XXXMas. Us girls from Slovakia don’t get to see that kind of action on Christmas! They even got some fellas from the USA and the UK tryin’ to keep up with those slut-tastic models, including some BBC guys all the way from Ukraine, Belarus, Latvia and the Czech Republic. Well, I never! And there’s even this thing they call ‘gapes-gaping-assholesex.’ It’s just preposterous! All I gotta say is, these young’uns nowadays don’t know what real ‘fucking’ is like. They need to get offline and read a good book! This video is sure to be a pornographic wonder of the world.”